A huge part of being a writer is the dreaded part of waiting and facing rejection. Waiting is hard but rejection is like a bullet to your heart.
When you start dreaming about being a writer you never think about the rough pad ahead of you, you only think about the fabulous life you’ll have being able to write all the wonderful worlds you have in your mind. And why not you also think that everyone will love it as much as you. But then you start the dream, you sit and realize writing wasn’t as easy, but you go through it the best you can so after several blood tears you have your wonderful creation in front of you.
Well maybe it’s not a wonderful creation but you have hope and send it away to find its way into the publishing world. So there’s when the wait begin. There start the constant refreshing of your email for several days until you realize it seems it will not come as fast as you thought.
Until one incredible day you receive the notification that says “You got Mail!!” and your heart stops for the torturous moments it takes for the email to open, in that second you have fear and hope. Until you read and your heart collapses to the ground were you think you will never be able to pick it up.
But the thing is we have to accept it’s a part of the road to take our stories out in the world, as Stanley Ellin says:
“No one put a gun to your head and ordered you to become a writer. One writes out of his own choice and must be prepared to take the rough spots along the road with a certain equanimity, though allowed some grinding of the teeth.”
After the rejection starts another process, the self-doubt, the idea of throwing everything away, the pain and the tears. But if this is what you love, what really moves you there, slowly filtering into the bad thoughts, will appear hope.
“Was I bitter? Absolutely. Hurt? You bet your sweet ass I was hurt. Who doesn’t feel a part of their heart break at rejection. You ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come, and then your sadness turns to anger. That’s my favorite part. It drives me, feeds me, and makes one hell of a story.”
One thing I recommend and that had keep me going every time is having friends, writer friends, that understand, let you cry but then kick your butt and make you start again. Believe me I could never keep going without my friends and also my hubby.
Another quote on hope I love:
“If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.”
—St. Clement of Alexandra
At last here is what I wrote and felt after a rejection, this is totally and completely mine:
“Sometimes my brain and heart amaze me. They just got hit and I feel like crying but my brain is planning and my heart is hoping.”